Pride feels no pain [rendy!]

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It was slightly after midday. The ShadowClan camp was sheltered from the sun in darkness and shadow by the walls of the hollow and the prickly brambles that crowned it.

Cedarstorm nibbled slowly on a large rat. As usual, he was alone, not sharing prey or tongue with any other cat. Always surrounded by a sphere of heavier gravity, other Clanmates like to keep a 3 tail-length radius around Cedarstorm, preferring to stay away from his dark soul. However, today, Cedarstorm was different, and he was different in a scarier way. Not only was he as serious as usual, but his look was a look of avarice, and an air of hunger surrounded him. Cedarstorm wanted something.

But it was not the rat.

Cedarstorm positioned himself just outside the warriors den, not too close but not too far from the nursery—so that nobody suspected him. His green eyes stared intently at the entrance of the nursery as he took little bites from the flesh of the rat. The piece of prey he was very slowly chewing was just a disguise, an excuse for the grey tabby to just sit and wait for the real prey to come out of its burrow.

Cedarstorm was very good at waiting. Almost too good. At first, he felt suspicious glances from other cats prickling his pelt, but after a while, he just soon became part of the background, blended into the brambles and the darkness, lost in his own thoughts. Pinestep, his brother, was definitely keeping something from him. The way he walks; the way he stares out into space; the way he looks at Ashcloud Cedarstorm almost hissed under his breath. Something told the tabby that Pinestep was starting to like that crippled queen, Ashcloud.

By now, he had finished his rat, and his prey had not come out yet. Cedarstorm stared at the nursery. He was hunting for knowledge, and he knew that the nursery—and Pinestep held answers. Cedarstorm needed to know. He could wait forever, or he could go into the burrow. Deciding the latter, he quickly planned his course of action.

Cedarstorm padded across the clearing and towards the entrance of the nursery. Feeling as though he needed to be secretive, Cedarstorm walked slowly, not letting his pawsteps make a noise, and his tail was motionless.


Note: Come out Pinestep, come out, come out wherever you are :O

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[Rendezvous]

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Pinestep had just finished up a conversation with Ashcloud after delivering yet another piece of fresh-kill to the she-cat earlier that morning. Dipping his head slightly, the tom slipped out of the nursery and back into the clearing of the camp. The tom's ears pricked as he scented his twin brother, Cedarstorm, close. What did the tom want now? The tabby shed his docile disposition he had unknowingly reserved for the queen and replaced it with a jacket of indifference.

"What?" The tom meowed as he stopped a half length in front of his brother, His tail tip flicked in annoyance for he knew that Cedarstorm didn't usually hang around this side of the camp. "Do you have a problem, Cedarstorm?" Pinestep meowed, although it almost sounded like a hiss under his breath. Over the last few days the warrior had been catching curious and rather shocked glances from his clanmates as he visited the nursery. Pinestep didn't say anything about the ordeal, he knew that he simply visited the queen, doing his job as a good deputy by providing for others who couldn't care for themselves. At least that was the excuse that he was coming up with lately.

Now, green eyes were filled with a dense hatred for as he looked at his brother, it reminded him oh so much of Pebblekit. Of course it hadn't been Cedarstorm's fault, but seeing as he was Pinestep's last of kin, who else would he associate his sister with nowadays? "If you're thinking I'm falling for Ashcloud, you're wrong. So don't even start with me." The tom hissed quietly as he glared at his brother.

Pinestep soon realized that he hadn't been paying as much attention to his brother like he had been doing a moon before. Sometimes his nightmares roused him from his nest, and that nest beside his brother would remain empty until sunhigh until the tom could evade the haunting shadows. "I have some hunting to do, why not come and make yourself useful?" The tom raised his head, daring Cedarstorm to say otherwise.

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As Cedarstorm neared the nursery, his quiet steps floating over the ground, the scent of kits and milk attacked him. Nearly thrown off his feet from surprise like a cat stepping into a stream and swept off in its current, the tom almost yowled, realizing how long he hadn’t been to this side of the camp. The strong smell that drifted around his gray fur, constantly tightening its grip reminded Cedarstorm why he didn’t want to go to this side of the camp in the first place.

Automatically, the scent of milk and kits caused Cedarstorm’s memory to flash back to his kithood, the first time the spirit of Cedarkit had invaded his brain in moons. Cedarstorm saw his past self, Cedarkit, pawing at the lifeless body of Pebblekit, and remembered the confused, the baffled, the shouting and the shaking that merged into one blurb and veiled his eyesight. No matter how hard he tried, Pebblekit wouldn’t wake up; she wouldn’t play with him; her fur was ice. Why wouldn’t her eyes open? Why wasn’t she mewling? Pinekit came with their mother, who’s high-pitched yowl cut a scar across the air. Cedarstorm knew... he knew that Pinekit had killed Pebblekit.

Cedarstorm was standing at the front of the nursery. A tsunami of emotion overwhelmed his whole body, and he turned his neck and looked away from the dead Pebblekit in front of him, his chest full of sorrow. He couldn’t go into the nursery, not now. What if he found Pebblekit in there? What if Pinestep’s going to kill a kitten again, now that he visits the nursery so much? Cedarstorm silently gasped to himself. His mouth, let open by astonishment from his own thoughts, almost spoke. No... Pinestep has changed, and I have become stronger to leave the past behind. The tom pushed the memory away; it wasn’t worth grieving over something that already happened. He had already forgiven Pinestep, and he needed to focus on the future. Cedarstorm looked up at the nursery entrance again, trying to muster confidence. He was going to be strong to find out what his brother, Pinestep, was keeping from him. He was going to be strong to become deputy, to get an apprentice... Cedarstorm quickly clad himself in a newly strengthened armor of hardness and seriousness.

Suddenly, Cedarstorm saw Pinestep walk out of the nursery. He’s wearing that lost look again. Exactly what is he up to? Cedarstorm walked up to his brother, with an air of intent and purpose.

Pinestep spoke first and snapped at his brother, “What? Dou you have a problem Cedarstorm?”

Cedarstorm opened his mouth, unsure of what to say. He knew his clanmates were watching them intently, and he couldn’t say anything in front of them. Instead, Cedarstorm lowered his head, acknowledging his brother and deputy.

Pinestep continued, ignoring Cedarstorm, hissing quietly in his ear, “If you’re thinking I’m falling for Ashcloud, you’re wrong. So don’t even start with me.”

Cedarstorm silently gasped, while his head was still down. He realized something, but he kept his dazed thoughts to himself. So he is in love with... in love with—out of all cats, Ashcloud? No... this isn’t possible. This can’t be! Suddenly conscious that his head was dipped for longer than usual, Cedarstorm slowly lifted his head, and met his brother’s intent gaze.

"I have some hunting to do, why not come and make yourself useful?"

Cedarstorm tried to keep himself calm and forced his muscles to stay relaxed. He freed himself from his brother’s challenging and hateful eyes, and slowly padded in the direction of the entrance to the camp. Without looking back at his brother, Cedarstorm’s calm and clear response came a few seconds long after it was due. “Let’s go.” He needed to discuss some things—not inside the camp.

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[Rendezvous]

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Raising his head slightly, the tom turned and headed for the entrance to camp, not once slowing down to wait for his brother. He should be busy doing his own duties. I know he was attempting to figure out what I was doing. The tom thought to himself as he kept an even stride, his paws barely missing a beat as he padded further away from camp.

Cedarstorm was his last of kin, his only family now. He couldn't just exile his brother from their friendship all together. Flicking his tail in irritation the tom slowed his pace, already scenting prey nearby. "There's a rat under there" He gestured with his tail before focusing his own attention to a frog that was hopping merrily along its way. You're mine. The tom thought to himself as he stalked after the green creature before pouncing on it and delivering a killing bite. Shaking his head, Pinestep had forgotten how bitter frogs tasted to him. He hadn't tasted one of the amphibious creatures since he had been an apprentice.

Carrying the frog in his mouth he dropped it onto the ground and kicked dirt over it, intending to retrieve the fresh-kill later. "You must have wanted something else from me, hmm? I know you brother." The tom spoke as he pushed a few dead leaves on top of the buried prey as an extra precaution.

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Outside of the camp, Cedarstorm opened his mouth to take in all there was about the forest. The smell of pine wood mixed with the odor of the swamp to form a scent that readily replaced Cedarstorm’s taste of milk and kits that still lingered on his tongue like a bad nightmare. Following Pinestep’s still tail silently, Cedarstorm cautiously measured their position and decided they weren’t in the right place to talk about... that.

"There's a rat under there" Pinestep signaled with his tail. The deputy crouched into a hunting position, and pounced on a frog that was hidden in the tall grass. Cedarstorm followed silently, and looked about him. There was not scent of cat around, and they were concealed by tall grass and by a low bush-tree that spread its branches like a blooming rose. Cedarstorm knew that if he wanted to say something out of the eyes of his Clanmates, now was the ripe time.

As Pinestep killed and buried the frog, Cedarstorm complimented his brother, almost sarcastically if it weren’t for his low toneless voice, “Good catch.” Cedarstorm began pacing around the buried pile of fresh-kill topped with dead leaves, his green eyes staring at the one tiny mound that concealed the piece of prey, lasering his hatred at the frog. Why was Pinestep hiding something from him? All at once, Cedarstorm knew he wasn’t ready to start a conversation. It shouldn’t be like this. He shouldn’t have to talk down on his brother, his role model for moons past, and reprimand his teacher for falling... for her.

It used to be that Cedarstorm would always follow behind the tail of Pinestep, no questions asked, and deep down, Cedarstorm knew that in the end he would have to surrender to Pinestep’s decisions no matter what he said. Even so, a brotherly hatred rose in Cedarstorm’s heart. I deserve to know the truth.

And suddenly, like a hammer that descends to shatter a stained glass window into a billion pieces, Pinestep interrupted Cedarstorm’s thoughts, catching him by surprise, "You must have wanted something else from me, hmm? I know you brother."

Cedarstorm looked up at his brother, slightly taken aback by Pinestep’s friendliness, and was caught in his green-eyed stare. Brother... At these words, Cedarstorm suddenly remembered that Pinestep and himself... they were brothers. The tom felt a bond connect between the two pairs of green eyes that stared at each other that shattered the atmosphere of formality, of purpose, of tense silence, and replaced it with playfulness from a long time ago when they were kits, or something close to, if not love.

Cedarstorm would have purred if he could have, but he lost that ability long ago. He pounced on his brother, knocked him over and pinned him to the ground, which was meant to be a playful jostle—like the type of rough play they did when they were apprentices, but instead, Cedarstorm’s bulky warrior trained muscles made it a hostile attack. Cedarstorm triumphed over the surprise that glinted in Pinestep’s eyes, and breathed, “You don’t know me enough, do you.” Even though what the tom said was meant to be a playful tease, it instead came out as a dark comment. And exploiting the clear advantage he had over his brother, Cedarstorm continued, “Well, take this—I know you too. And even though I don’t know exactly what’s going on with you, I know that something is, so spit it out!”

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The large tom was soon knocked off his paws by his equally sized brother. Pinestep's ears flattened aganst his head at his brother's actions. "Get off of me, Cedarstorm!" The tabby tom hissed, unsheathing his claws, threatening to use them if he had to. This kind of behavior was deemed unacceptable by the deputy, whether it was playful or not. Pinestep didn't like how his twin constantly prodded him, wanting to know his business.

"I know you enough to know that you are a fool!" He hissed as he moved to swipe his claws against his brother's shoulder, but thought against it and simply shoved his brother off with sheathed paws. Something good had came out his time spent with Ashcloud, he had to learn to tame the beast inside him. He had gotten angry less, and he didn't dwell on the death of his sister like he had done only mere moons ago. Pinestep had feared that the shadows that haunted his dreams would suffocate him, yet the bond that he and Ashcloud shared brought him back from the brink of destruction.

Moving away from his brother, the tom glared at his brother through narrowed emerald eyes. "What I do, is none of your business, Cedarstorm." He hissed, hating how his brother seemed so intent on knowing why he was doing anything at all. "Don't you have more important things to do, then spy on me?" Looking at his brother, Pinestep realized that that was how he was. Cedarstorm was a mere shadow of himself, for he had manipulated his brother when they had been apprentices, molded him into what he was today.

He had made a monster out of his brother, much like what he had almost done to himself. Yet, Ashcloud. That intriguing little gray she-cat, had changed Pinestep. He wasn't soft, but nor was he plotting the things that he had planned from his days spent as an apprentice. Lashing his tail a couple of times, he narrowed his eyes at his brother, wondering what exactly Cedarstorm wanted from him in the first place.

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Cedarstorm saw his brother unsheathing his claws, and he knew: Pinestep was going to claw him; he was sure of it. His brother had that kind of a heart, to slash at others without thinking twice about it. Tackling the deputy was not a smart idea. He should’ve thought it out more. Without resisting, Cedarstorm allowed Pinestep to shove him off.

Cedarstorm scrambled back, and stood at a distance from his twin brother in such a way so he wasn’t facing him, knowing that he had lost the battle already. He listened to his brother talk, but he didn’t seem to hear any of the words. Deep inside, he knew that Pinestep would never reveal his secret on purpose. Gazing sadly at a bush, Cedarstorm avoided his brother’s burning gaze. He knew that Pinestep’s eyes would burn through him like sunlight reflected on water.

“You’re too proud to love.” Cedarstorm mewed, his tail wavering back and forth, as he sat staring, avoiding the burning gaze of his brother. “I know who the she-cat is, but I don’t believe it. You’re too vain... too vain to love a brother, let alone an idiot of a weakling.” As the tom said this, he felt his heart strangely breaking, and he turned away, ready to walk back to camp.

But Cedarstorm paused suddenly, as if he remembered something. Pinestep was too selfish to love. If he did, it would only be that way to benefit himself. Out of all things, Cedarstorm didn’t understand. Why did Pinestep ‘love’ her? The tom thought and was puzzled. “But you really do love her?” Cedarstorm quietly asked, without turning to face Pinestep for one moment.

Then he felt the wind rise, and a cloud of dust rose and swirled through the air like curls of smoke. “Ashcloud... wants to know.”

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